Pineapple Pizza and Strawberry Cake
by yukiim
Summary: Sequel to 'A Normal Teenage Boy' Ichigo explains what happened at the interview.


Ichigo stood in the doorway, soaking wet, with half of his suit missing and a bruise across his face.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"Long story..." Ichigo replied before taking a step into his apartment.

Only to be stopped by Renji.

"I know you don't think you're coming in here like that."Renji said, quickly running his eyes over Ichigo's suit with digust.

"It's my house!!!"

Renji paused before replying, "......So?"

"Renji..."

"Hmm?" Renji answered ever so innocently.

"......... I will kick your ass."Ichigo said slowly, hoping that he would take a hint.

Renji, being Renji, started being... well, Renji.

"Okay... So I'm just gonna shut the door now..."

"RENJI!"

Laughing, Renji opened the door completely, letting the obviously tired orange-head in.

"But, seriously, what happened to you?"

"Nothing."

"........"

"Really, Renji. Nothing happened."

"......................."

"Stop staring. It's rude."

"........................................."

"Renji! I mean it! Stop staring at me!"

"If you don't tell me, you don't get to eat."

"Good!" Answered Ichigo, "All the food you cook sucks and always ends up burnt! Now I'll never tell you!" Ichigo grinned, victoriously.

"I ordered pizza-"

"So? I only like one kind and-"

"With pineapples on top."

Ichigo's grin vanished instantly.

'I never win!'

"And," Renji continued as he went into the kitchen, only to return with two boxes,"I got Yuzu to make me a cake with strawberries on top."

"You bastar-"

"And I will eat it all if you don't tell me what happened. And if you don't tell me soon, I will make up something and go tell everyone."

"I don't care what people say about me! And besides, you can't eat all that! It's not possible."

"........................."

"I take that back..."

"Exactly."

"But I do know that you won't eat all that! At least, not today"

"And why wouldn't I?"

"Because then, I would kick you out."

"...................................."

"So you mean, if I _eat _this, then you would kick me out?"

"Yes."

"So as long as I _don't eat_ it, I won't be kicked out."

"I'm glad we have an understanding."

"Yeah... We have a understanding."

It was at that moment, that Renji saw the trashcan. Chuckling, he stood up and grabbed both boxes.

"So now that we do, let's ea- Renji, you bastard! You wouldn't!!!"

"Try me."

"Renji, I'm gonn-"

Ichigo froze as Renji held a slice of pizza above the open trashcan.

"Now let's see," Renji began, " Seeing as I already ate earlier-"

"What!"

"-There are three pieces of pizza and a little over a fourth of the cake-"

"A fourth!"

"-left. So if I was to throw this away, there would only be two pieces of pizza left. Correct?"

"................................... I hate you...."

"Love you too. What happened?"

"............so much............"

"I guess you don't-"

"Renji!"

"Spill."

Sighing, Ichigo began.

"I had the interview today-"

"No shit."

"Shut up! Like I was saying, I had the interview. Everything was going fine... Until I woke up..."

"Don't you mean when you were born?" Ichigo's hollow said as he began to cackle.

"And what happened when you woke up?"

"The day began..."

"Anyways, I'm gonna guess something happened during the interview."

"..............................."

"So what happened?"

"I... I got into a fight."

"A fight? What happened to being normal?"

"I was trying! But the man was being cocky! What the hell was I supposed to do!?! Just sit there!"

"Uhhh.... YES!!!" Renji groaned. "Maybe the boss didn't see you. Who was it?"

"Who was who?"

"Who was the guy you got in a fight with? Focus, dumbass!"

"Well..... it was kinda.. it was just tha-"

"Stop beating around the bush!"

".................I......"

"You didn't....."

".............."

"You did not!"

".........................."

"Kurosaki Ichigo! Tell me you did NOT get in a fight with the fucking BOSS!"

"It wasn't my fault! He kept on asking about my life. Like: Why is your hair orange? Is it natural? Do you have a girlfriend? A boyfriend? Are you a virgin? What do you think about condoms? Have your been tested for HIV? Do you eve-"

"What do you expect! You were applying for a sex-ed position!"

"And! What does that have to do with my hair!"

"Who cares! He was the _BOSS_! Meaning that he could've asked you your dick size and you should have answered him if you wanted the job!"

"But why did the questions all revolve around sex!"

"_SEX-ED!_"

"Well it doesn't matter now! I doubt I'm gonna get the job now!"

Handing Ichigo the pizza box, Renji sighed.

"Wait!" Ichigo started, "I want the cak-"

"I'm putting it on the table." Renji replied, soon disappearing into the kitchen.

"Renji?"

"What?"

"I'm kinda glad I didn't get that job."

"What? Why?"

"Well, you do have to go back soon. And Rukia would kill me if I didn't show you around. So I figured I'd show you around town, starting tomorrow."

Renji paused before he smiled softly.

"Tomorrow, heh?"

"Yeah. I mean, if you're not busy."

"....Sure."

"Okay... good." Ichigo replied softly, a small blush upon his cheeks.

Catching a glimpse of the Strawberry's face, Renji chuckled.

"Dumbass."

"What'd you say, Pineapple!"

Hiii-iii!

I'm surprised that I updated this soon!

So, what'd you think?

Review, Review, Review

Any ideas for new stories?

Then leave me a message!  
Should I make a sequel for this?

Or maybe I should write one for the actual interview?

Or maybe both!

Who knows?

Til' next time!

With love,

Yukiim


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